Do you ever feel like you're losing yourself? Or worse... feeling like you aren't even a person. It's hard to explain but whenever I do something expected like lightly slap someone or say something sharp, I kick myself for being someone I don't want to be. Every time I do something "normal" I build up such anger towards myself and my immature actions. Am I not a person that I want to be, and am just a person I am?
To some, I'm this crazy girl that never shuts up and is extremely stupid, with stupidity and girl-like responses that at one point just becomes utterly revolting. To others, I'm a very sophisticated, mature and shy girl that sputters out words when on the spot. To most, I'm a strange girl that has a huge, red question mark on her face.
Is it just me? Am I the only person who is this insecure about their actions? In my case, it has absolutely nothing to do with the way I was raised, I had a good childhood, but at school I'm always trying to be aware of what I will and am going to do.
Please inform me if I still have my sanity and I'm not the only paranoid person out there. Thank you!!!
-Zona
